Wednesday, January 12, 2011

What, no Krugerrands?

From: "JOHN BALI" ( is in India )
To: "undisclosed recipients:" ( Again - no name and not just me )
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2011 07:45:23 -0500

( From the Attachment, surprisingly virus free )
TEL: +27 783 317 554 ( Surprise, it's a South African phone number. Someone's done their homework )
EMAIL ( on the other hand, has a distinctly Russian tinge to it. Might be the Cyrillic text )

ATTN: MD/C.E.O ( Doctor? CEO ? We'll assume you're intelligent before we assume you're an idiot )

Sir/Madame (Sir/Madame - Hell, this is just a shot in the dark anyway )


You may be surprised ( stunned, actually ) to receive this letter from me since you do not know me personally ( which seems to make us about even ) , the purpose of my introduction is that, I am Mr. John Bali first son of Mr. Abrahim Bali, who was recently murdered in the land dispute in Zimbabwe. I got your contact through South African Information Exchange ( How they got it, I'll never know. ) decided to write you.

Before the death of my father (Why do you need to explain this. If he was doing something, he was probably doing it before he died since death has a tendency to make folks take things a bit slower - except in Transylvania, perhaps ) , he had taken me to Johannesburg to deposit the sum of (Eighteen Million Six Houndred Thousand United States Dollars) ( Why would he convert good old reliable Gold Krugerrands to US dollars, was he senile? ) , in one of the private security company, as if he foresaw the looming danger in Zimbabwe ( but he felt a need to return there in order to be murdered ) . This money was deposited in a box as germ stones ( now we'll have to get them cleaned, Krugerrands would have been so much neater )  to avoid much demurrage from Security Company ( Demurrage refers to the charges that the charterer pays to the shipowner for its extra use of the vessel What does that have to do with germ stones? If you don't mind me asking. ) . This amount was meant for the purchase of new machines and chemicals for the farms and established of new farm in Swaziland. ( If he was working with Swaziland, why the hell did he keep going back to Zimbabwe? That's a pretty long drive)

This land problem came when Zimbabwean President MR.ROBERT MUGABE ( HE MUST BE IMPORTANT TOO ) introduce a new Land Act reform which wholly affected the rich white farmers and some few blacks farmers. And this resulted to the killing and mob action by Zimbabwean war veterans and some lunatics ( only some? ) in the society. In fact, a lot of people were killed because of this land reformed Act for which my father was one of the victim. ( Which he wouldn't have been if he'd minded his own business and stayed in Swaziland. I'm not feeling very sympathetic here. Start looking around for a point.  )

It is against this background that, ( Droning on and on ) I and my family who are currently staying in South Africa decided to transfer my father's money to foreign account since the law of South Africa prohibits a refugee (asylum seeker) ( Is that what refugee means? I did not know that. )  to open any bank account or to be involved in any financial transaction throughout the territorial zone South Africa ( probably going to make transferring the money difficult ) . As the eldest son of my father, I am saddle with the responsibility of seeking a genuine foreign account where this money could be transferred without the knowledge of my government who are bent on taking everything we have got. The South African government seems to be playing along with them. ( Playing along with who? ) I am faced with the dilemma of investing this amount of money in South Africa ( What about Swaziland? Did you try there? ) for fear of going through the same experience ( Being murdered in Zimbabwe? That's easy. Stay out of Zimbabwe. ) in future ( as opposed to going through it in the past ) since both countries have similar political history. Moreover, the South African Foreign Exchange Policy does not allow such investments for an asylum seeker ( use refugee - it's shorter ).

As a businessman, who I have to entrust my future since both my future and of my family are in his hands, I must let you know that this transaction is risk free. ( sounds like it from your description so far ) If you accept to assist my family and me all I want you to do for me is to make arrangements and come to Johannesburg-South Africa ( I'll dash right down or over or both ), so that you can open a non-resident account, which you will aid us in transferring the money into any account which you will nominate overseas. This money I intended to use for investment. ( So, what, are you carrying it around in a bag at the moment? No, you did say they were in a box. My bad. )

I have two options for you; firstly you can choose to have certain percentage of the money for nominating your account for this transaction. Or you can go into partnership with me for proper profitable investment of the money in your country. Whichever the options you want, feel free to notify me. If you do not prefer partnership I am willing to give you 25% ( certain means 25% apparently ) of the money while the remaining 75% will be for my investment in your country.

Contact me with the above e-mail, and Telephone number while I implore you to maintain the absolute secrecy required in this transaction

Yours Faithfully,
MR. John BALI.
(For the Family)

PLEASE YOU CAN READ ABOUT PROBLEMS IN ZIMBABWE FROM THE LINKS BELOW. (Dead link ) ( This link is an 11 year old BBC article, John's been at this a while it seems ) ( Dec 2000 )

Not a bad haul :  $18,600,000

New Total: $115,835,366.77

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