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I am Mr. Jack Zolema ( I knew that ) and I wish to present a business proposal to you. Please see the attached document for details. |
ATTN:BENEFICIARY ( Dear Whatisname )I Am Edwin Williams, secretary to Dr. Timothy Hanson. I'm writing to let you know about your conpensation ( CONpensation - Freudian slip? ) fund $1.8 Million, us dollar that my boss issued on your name before he travelled out for his business purpose. ( Glad he had time to do it before he left. I'd hate to be left waiting ) Before he travels out he instructed me to send you the total money through Western Union Money Transfer ( All major business and government transactions take place through Wertern Union. It's a little known fact. ) because it will be less expensive and reliable ( A cashiers check or negotiable bearer bonds would be more reliable and nearly free) for you to be receiving your daily $7000 dollar until you receive your total money completely ( This is going to take eight and a half months ) . Meanwhile, the manager stated yesterday that, the director, administrator trust funds have already signed and approved your payment, which you will be receiving your payment 7000.00 Us Dollars daily immediately you sent them their transfer charge of $55 and it will serve as confirmation of your file payment from the office in charge. ( See, a check wouldn't have cost $55 ) So you are to contact them on below information Vital Finance Bank Western Union Department. Location Address; Plot 1261, Adeola Hopewell Street CO/B/REP, ( Googling the address brought me here <- safe link ) Contact Person: Mr Chris Mike. Tele phone Number: +229-986-79197. Email Address: ( westernuniontransfe0@globomail.com ) ( http://globomail.com Yet another free email service ) Be advise that the $55 is a compulsory as they told me that is the only money you will pay until you receive your payment completely ( Of course it is ) .So confirm your details to avoid any hitches in receiving your full payments. This is what they need from you Receiver' Name:::::::: Country:::::::::::::: City::::::::::::::::: Tel:::::::::::::::::: Test question:::::::: ( If a hen and a half lays an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? ) Answer::::::::::::::: ( Bob - no one would ever guess Bob ) ( and of course $55 ) Also do let me know immediately they have started sending you your money, but try to comply with them to enable them serve you better.Thank,Secretary Edwin Williams, |
My greetings to you and your family, (You do know they were horribly mangled in a MixMaster accident last week ) My name is Mr. Frankline Boateng, I am a retired banker of Standard Chartered Bank of Ghana Ltd. I do not want problems ( Then you came to the wrong place ) but I just hope you can assist me, I write you this letter in good faith, I have a transaction of three million two hundred and fifty thousand dollars:($3,250,000.00). I realized this fund from bank excess profit ( Excess profit? Isn't profit just profit? ) after trading with the capital sum and I deposited the funds in escrow call account ( The accountant equivalent of technobabble ) . Where nobody will have access to it. Even the bank does not have access to this account ( If the bank can't access it won't that slow us down? ) because it cannot be deducted, until after the transfer. Finally I did not declare this fund to the bank before my retirement ( But left it there, because I couldn't get at it. ) . I am contacting you, to stand as the beneficiary of this fund because only a foreigner can stand as the beneficiary ( You're starting to make me think you're not too bright ) . Can I trust you to hold this money ( If you can't get at it, how will I? ) for me until I come over to your country? After the transfer, I will give you 30% of the money as your commission ( I'll have the money. I'll give you 40% ) . If you accept my offer, but if you do not accept this offer kindly forget that I contacted you, ( I think you have a misplaced phrase here ) all I need is for you to get a good current account where this fund can be transferred into ( A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence or phrase with. ) and for you to stand as the beneficiary of the said amount, within three days the funds will be transferred to your designated bank account. There are practically no risks involved, it will be a bank-to-bank transfer ( There's always risk when your embezzling. It goes with the territory ) . I hope you understand my situation, I am critically ill ( I thought you sounded a little wheezy ) that is why I contacted you to finalize this transaction to enable me have a very good medical treatment. Write to me in order to indicate your interest to my proposal and please on time so that we can proceed immediately. Respectfully, Mr.Frankline Boateng. |
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2011 From: "Mrs.Rosland Thomas" <roslandthomas@sbcglobal.net> ( An alias for AT&T ) Reply-To: atm.paymentdepartment@mm.am ( http://www.mm.am - Yet another place to get a fake email address ) Subject: CONTACT ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT IMMEDIATELY. ( OR WE SHALL CONTINUE TO SCREAM AT YOU!! ) To: undisclosed recipients: ; ( Don't you know who we are? Are we not supposed to figure out that you're lying to us? ) Attn Dear ( This space intentionally left blank ) , Due to your effort ( I try ) , sincerity ( Really, I do try ) , courage ( I'm a lion tamer in my spare time. ) and trust worthiness ( Trust me. Really, you can trust me after all we've been through ) you showed at the course of your transaction ( Turn four was a little tricky ) with some government and claimed government officials ( They weren't all real government officials. They had their pictures taped to real looking badges. Those were fake? ) . And based on the outcome of the last meeting held with the Federal Government of this country ( Which country? I told you. I don't remember. ) and the officials of the United Nation Organization, UNO and International Monitoring Fund, IMF ( Was I at this meeting? I was drinking absinthe. I can't remember. ), we have been instructed to transfer your funds through ATM MASTER CARD ( Couldn't you find a more obscure way to get me the money? ) , This is to officially inform you that (ATM Master Card Number 4000101025717299 ( MasterCard numbers start with a 5. Are you sure it wasn't a VISA card? ) ) has been accredited in your favour. Your Personal Identification Number is 1309 ( Nice. You idiot! Didn't anyone tell you you shouldn't send card numbers and pins in unencrypted emails and nerve in the same email. There are a lot of unscrupulous people out there. You're going to have to void the card and get a new number. I called that one in as lost.) . The ATM Card Value is $2.8M (Two Million Eight Hundred Thousand United State Dollars). You are advice ( Am I good advice? ) to contact our affiliate ATM UNIT CENTER with the information below.The maximum you can withdraw in a day is $6000.00 (Six Thousand United State Dollars) ( That's going to take 466 days. I need the money now. $6000 barely covers the vig ) you are therefore advice ( Why am I advice again? I don't understand ) to contact the ATM CARD UNIT CENTRE DEPARTMENT. Bellow ( Who is Bellow? ) is the contact detail for you to contact ATM UNIT CENTRE for your ATM MASTER CARD. Contact Person: Dr.George Ngueye. E-mail: (atm.paymentdepartment@mm.am) Telephone:+229 9893 9789. ( George, what are you doing in Benin? Is Bellow there with you? ) Here is the information they may need ( They may need? Are you sure they know what they're doing? ) to send the ATM CARD to you. FULL NAME............... DELIVERY ADDRESS........ TELEPHONE NUMBER........ COUNTRY............ OCCUPATION........... SEX......... AGE.......... Forward the needed information to the ATM UNIT CENTER so that they will send your your ATM CARD. Regards, Mrs.Rosland Thomas. |
